Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen...
I am a huge fan of Lynne Truss. She wrote the book "Eats, Shoots and Leaves." It is a masterpiece of satire on the demise of the formal structures of the English language. Every day, some other assault on the language takes place.
The following blog entry will be a linguistic and grammatical disaster. It is deliberate. My goal is to take as many of the current linguistic fads and combine them into one coherent (?) blog entry. There will be poor spelling, misuse of commas and apostrophes, bad usage, and words that do not exist.
To GS and EKB, my unpaid editors who often catch my typos, I humbly apologize.
I am giving this my usual signoff here, as I do not want my name to be associated with what is about to be written. I have also put a few extra spaces between my name and this entry, and have changed the font.
I was walking in the wood's one day. I heard a loud noise. I looked to my rite to see a large bare. It was ginormous. I yelled at the bare. Nothing I did would effect it though. I turned to run away. I was moving. I was literally running as fast as I could. Over they're, I saw a yard with some shrubbery and too people. It was the bushes, Barbara and George. Its great that they were their. "May I hide in you're yard?" "Of course," they said. I was like "thank you. Nice yard...my complements to the groundskeeper." I wondered what I should hide under. As I hid, a truck full of bare food went driving by at the precise moment that a breeze blue towards the bare. It was a perfect storm, and it allowed me to escape.
I am still stressed after this. Between you and I, I must speak with the chaplin.