Saturday, February 9, 2013

With Great Apologies to the Bard

Top of the evening all...

On the off chance you missed it, Toronto got snow.  Toronto got a great deal of snow.  I sent a nice note to the city because the man who was ploughing my street did the lower half of my driveway.  The note perhaps was premature.  On the second run ploughing the street, it all got pushed back in.  Then the other person ploughed the sidewalk, leaving me right back where I started.

For those who do not
like this cold weather,
you are not alone.
You might think that with
all the snow we got,
now is the discontent of our winter, made torturous bummer by this snow of North York.

Gandalf wanted out.
I let him depart.
That lasted seconds.
He returned with snow
up to his belly,
snowflakes on his back,
and snow in his beard.
I let him back in.
He still wanted out.
He sat by the door,
looked out longingly,
and meowed, so full of sound and furry.

I tried to do that in iambic pentameter.  I could not get the accents to shift back and forth.  I did get five syllables to the line though.  One out of two should count for something.  Anyway...

So I went out and cleared the driveway this evening.  I still feel it.  Alas, the shovel that men do lives after them.  I looked in the mirror.  I look beat.  Clearly, the better part of pallor is discretion.

It is at times like this that I remember the warmth of Hawaii.  All I can think is once more unto the beach.

That I shall say goodnight til it be morrow.



  1. I fear we did not do much better in Vaughan. Actually we did worse since we are still waiting for the sidewalk plow to do his job. The street plow made our one and a half car driveway a very narrow one car driveway. After dinner tonight I went out again to chop away at it to try to make it wider. Can I just say I wish for spring!!!

  2. Iambic pentameter, indeed: the stuff of men who who are closeted chick flick watchers. Perhaps you should have tried the more disciplined approach of the haiku while channeling Thomas Paine.

    "Haiku is required to 'suggest' a single season somehow. It might be directly, by using a word like 'blossom' for Spring, or 'snow' for Winter, or indirectly, by tone, imagery or pace."

    Did Thomas Paine say
    These are the times when freezing
    Cold feet try men's soles?


    Thus, wilt thou now concede my besting thee, knave? And you want to joyride on a CG cutter in the Arctic! With that, and no apologies to the Bard or anyone, I take my victorious leave.

  3. UserDand - I am not a closeted enjoyer of chick flicks! I am out in the open.

    I will most certainly not concede to being bested. I will concede to having a wonderful chuckle at this comment. Thank you so much.


  4. "I will most certainly not concede to being bested."

    Ladies and gentlemen, Rabbi Rav Sean Gorman will be playing the part of the Black Knight and Userdand will be playing the part of King Arthur in tonight's performance of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail."

    King Arthur: Victory is mine!
    [kneels to pray]
    King Arthur: We thank thee, Lord, that in thy mercy -
    [cut off by the Knight kicking him]
    Black Knight: Come on, then.
    King Arthur: What?
    Black Knight: Have at you!
    King Arthur: You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine!
    Black Knight: Oh, had enough, eh?
    King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's arms] Look, you stupid Ba***rd. You've got no arms left.
    Black Knight: Yes I have.
    King Arthur: *Look*!
    Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound.

    Though thou be not besotted with mirth and churlish of demeanor, it pleaseth me to be of some little service as to your amusment. Thou art most welcome.

    Which, while I am on the subject of service, thank you for your service. My wife and I have a habit of thanking military personnel when we encounter them. Which, while speaking of her, leads me to today's movie review.

    We were discussing whether to see Safe Haven or Snitch. My wife won. We went to see Snitch. She is an action movie buff. I could have seen either one being a Nicholas Sparks fan. She likes Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson, especially after seeing The Run Down. I am not so sure about Rundown, but I believe neither of those movies had obscenities in them. Considering the preponderance of thugs in both, that's difficult to pull off, but certainly appreciated. If you like action movies and haven't seen The Run Down, you should. Christoper Walken out-Christopher Walknens himself.

    I really get annoyed when they preceed -damn with the usual prefix. Like damn isn't expletive enough without attaching a proper pronoun. The movie was okay, but nore like a made for TV actioner and not really on a par with bigger budget movies. We had the option of the latest in the Die Hard franchise, but the user reviews, though favorable, were not all that entusiastic. If you want to see either on the big screen, I would wait for the second-run house showings of both.

    Night all.