Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Defending This Caveman

Good evening everyone.

Jennifer wrote about all of the wonderful things she is expecting to find upon her return from Israel next week. Amongst them, she expects to find all of the household laundry clean, but unfolded.

I admit that this expectation is not entirely without reason. I would rather do just about anything than fold laundry. Let me give you a sample conversation that could happen:

Me, yelling down the steps: what are you doing?
Jennifer: Folding laundry. Do you want to help?
Me: Uhhhhhh...I have to go out and make sure that there is air in the spare tire. I think there is a place over on Yonge that charges a quarter less.

I hate folding laundry. I hate sorting it.

For the record: all of the laundry that has been done during Jennifer's absence is folded. The four of us here will sort it out tomorrow, as I cannot tell Jesse's clothes from Gavi's. The kids have eaten dinner and breakfast every day. They have gotten out the door to school on time. Keren has one more dose of her antibiotics. She will take it first thing in the morning. All of the dishes in the house are clean. The kids will empty the dishwasher tomorrow. The grocery shopping is done. There are no leftovers spawning new life in the refrigerator. I changed the linens and pillowcases. This took the better part of 30 minutes. After 18+ years of marriage, I do not understand why we have six pillows on the bed. I also do not understand how it is that Jennifer can tell them apart. Nonetheless, they all have new pillowcases done exactly the way she had it.

I have also managed to fulfill all of my rabbinical responsibilities. I am averaging 6.5 hours of sleep per night. I could extend it if I were not writing blog entries in the middle of the night.

To all of the women we love: we can bring home the (kosher) bacon, fry it up in the pan, and never ever let you forget that we're men.

Go to sleep everyone.


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