Good morning all...
So I wrote last night that part of being a lover means sharing a permanent address. I deleted one thing prior to posting. I had also written that part of being a lover means sharing a bank account.
Why did I delete that? I am glad you asked that question. Please note: on my rules of marriage, I state that once married, it is no longer "his money" and "her money." Trust your spouse's values and judgment. If you cannot do that with money, you cannot do that with anything else. I believed that when I wrote it. I believe it still.
What brought about my change in thinking? It is a couple of things. The first is spousal abuse. When we think of spousal abuse, we usually think about physical abuse. That is only the tip of the iceberg. Emotional abuse, social abuse, and financial abuse are also part of the package. It is often difficult to predict what people will be after the wedding. As such, to have a bank account handy that a spouse cannot empty is not a bad idea.
As well, the economy is not in the best of conditions. People are losing jobs. People are having trouble making ends meet. I know of one couple in which she lost her job. One of the things they were considering was defaulting on the mortgage. The house was only in her name though. Defaulting on the mortgage would probably damage both credit ratings, but would not do nearly the same level of damage to his as it would to hers. To have one credit rating still somewhat intact means that a credit card can still be had and a home can likely be rented. That involves having separate bank accounts.
Marriage should still render the question of whose money it is moot. However, there are other reasons that perhaps having separate accounts might be necessary.
Have a great day.