Monday, October 19, 2015

Plus Ca Change....

Plus c'est la meme chose.

Top of the evening to all...

I do not know why that idiom exists primarily in the French.  The more things change, the more they remain the same.  It works just fine in English.

In January 2012, Jennifer had to go to Israel for about 10 days.  During that time, I wrote an entry to this blog entitled Defending This Caveman.  The entry was about the impending disaster Jennifer was expecting to find upon her return from Eretz HaKodesh - the Holy Land.

Jennifer is in Israel again (yes - I am bitter).  She is there for the WZO conference.  She read Torah this morning at the Kotel.  I had a conversation today during minyan.  One of our regulars asked me how I was holding up with her gone.  It is a lot of work when one must fill the role of both parents for a sustained period of time.  I appreciated the question and the concern.

She also asked if I was doing the cooking, the laundry, and keeping the house clean.  I said yes, but then I returned the question.  "Would you be asking a woman the same questions?"  She thought about it for a second, realized she would not, and told me I was right.

A couple of things: I came home a little early today to cook dinner.  We had fake crab sauteed with some peppers served with rice.  My laundry is done.  One kid's laundry is in the washing machine, and the other pile of laundry will meet the same destiny shortly.  On Sunday, I dusted and cleaned bathrooms.  There is some straightening to be done, but the house has definitely been in worse shape.

Gentlemen, on the off chance that you have doubts about your abilities to run a house and work full time while your spouse is away, know that you can do it.  Ladies, if you want your spouses to be able to cook, do laundry, and clean, then start with the expectation that this is something your spouse should be able to do.

Mothers and fathers are different.  I once tried to close a diaper with duct tape, because I had torn three tabs off, and diapers are expensive.  It did not work.  Jennifer thought it was hilarious.  The point here is that men think about things a little differently.  It is not better or worse.  It just is.  We are capable of handling a household.

When I am responsible for the grocery shopping, I do not buy Kix cereal.  The reason is the advertising catch phrase: kid tested, mother approved.  If we want fathers (mixed-gender couples, of course) to be involved in raising their children, we need to make conscious efforts to change the way we think about how we understand their roles.

Have a good evening.


No comments:

Post a Comment