Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Now Just a Minute!!

Top of the evening all...

Many of you have read Jennifer's recent blog post entitled "Weird Things Couples Fight About".  It is wrong to undercut one's spouse in public; however, circumstances sometimes dictate a vociferous response.

Folding towels: I learned as a kid to fold towels in ninths (I think my mother liked Beethoven).  At some point over our time together, Jennifer asked me to do it differently.  I was happy to acquiesce.  The problem is that I never remembered how she liked it.  I know that she does not like ninths.  So I do not do that anymore.  Still, the thought of folding something to fit in a certain space is entirely lost on me.  The space will fit anything that is crammed into it.  I think that Jennifer is too sensitive to stuff falling out on her when she opens closets and cabinets.

Serving utensils: it is just the five of us.  What is the problem??

Toilet paper: Jennifer probably changes it more than I do.  I am very worried about squeezing the Charmin.  It should be done though with the pull-down on the outside.

The toothpaste tube: the reflexive property of mathematics states that in all equations, a = a.  The amount of toothpaste in the tube does not change, no matter where one squeezes it.

Movies: Jennifer is right.  The closest I come to watching a movie is to ask which movie I would like to fall asleep watching.

Leftovers: sometimes, I do not like them.  Still, it is wrong to waste food.  I will often have them for lunch.  It seems to me that the ~12 hours between dinner and packing lunch for the next day is more than enough time for Jennifer to stake out her territory.  If it is still in the fridge when I come home for lunch, it is fair game.  They are never a late-night snack.  By the way, I took some of tonight's leftover kasha from dinner and packed it in a container for her lunch.  I get serious good husband points for that.

Ordering take-out: when I was but a lad, my parents would take us out to dinner.  They would tell my brother and me* that we had a limit of $5, or whatever it was.  I am used to that mindset.  The second-born, left to his own druthers, will order every appetizer on the menu and a main course, and then wonder why he cannot have dessert.  The firstborn also seems to like more than one entree.  When we go out for sushi, he orders a dragon roll and the macaroni and cheese (he seems not to grasp the concept of fusion cooking).  Leaving the ordering of takeout to Jennifer removes me from having to keep the boys under control.

The dishwasher: I have video that I am not going to upload in which one can observe the dishwasher expanding for her.  It is unbelievable.  'Nuff said.

The drainboard: I put away everything whose location I can immediately ascertain.  Plates are easy.  The whisk?  I never know where it goes.  We have so many of them.  They are easy enough to wash that they are not worth the space-time continuum in the dishwasher.  So they get washed, and then live on the drainboard.

The shoes: my shoes are exactly where they are supposed to be right now.  One is on my left foot.  The other is on my right.  Jennifer moved the shoe rack to another spot.  It is not convenient to get to it.  We shoot for the convenient spot.  On an aside, I had a funeral on Sunday and could not find my funeral boots.

And now for a serious note: all couples fight.  It is important to know what the lines in the sand are.  There really should be very, very few.  When the marriage is healthy, the little things do not matter.  They might even become the stuff of humorous blog entries.  When little things start to matter, there is a problem.  When fights start to increase, and happen over anything, there is a problem.

Have a good evening everyone.


*Not 'my brother and I.'  When working with a direct object, an indirect object, or the object of a preposition, 'my brother and me' is correct.  The easiest test of this is to remove the other person from the sentence.  "They told me."  Therefore, "they told my brother and me."  Also, note here that in each of the cases, we are dealing with an object (direct, indirect, of preposition).  As soon as we bring the object into the sentence, 'me' becomes correct.  In fact, me, him, her, us, and them are all called object pronouns or objective pronouns.

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