There is a website that I like. The owner of the website is a woman who came within a hair's breadth of divorcing her husband. She then made a series of decisions that saved and strengthened their marriage. She writes on various marital issues. The website is set so that those of us who wish to comment may do so.
One of her recent posts was entitled "20 Reasons that Monogamy Rocks." It was a good post. In some of the comments though, there were apparently people who thought otherwise. Monogamy was not for everyone.
Needless to say, I commented. I thought I wrote some respectful, but nonetheless blistering responses to those who support the idea of open marriage.
Some of those who thought it is acceptable stated that as long as the couple had it within their basic ground rules, there should be no problem.
I caustically disagree.
For the record, adultery is marital abuse. Adultery says the following things:
1. My other partner is better in bed.
2. What you give only to me I can get anywhere.
3. You do not "put out" enough.
4. You bore me.
Those statements are abusive.
Let us look at another type of abuse. We witness one partner screaming at another with threats, nasty names, and various insults. The offending partner leaves. We ask the offended partner about it. The offended partner says "it is okay. I gave permission."
No. No no no no no. A thousand times no.
The permission slip does not make such abuse acceptable. If the permission slip does not make abuse acceptable in the case of such a verbal onslaught, I fail to see how it makes the abuse of tawdry affairs acceptable.
In this case, having the trappings of marital compromise is nothing more than compromising one's marriage.
My friends, it is late. To all of you married folks, if you are going to have a tawdry affair, have one with your spouse. It is not so difficult. Do it tonight. It is one you can start right now.
Go to sleep...or not...